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| SOURCE: BILLBOARD.COM |
It’s been a day well spent. Thanks to Rihanna and her
revealing CFDA Awards dress I’ve spent the morning on various people’s social
media timelines debating things like “appropriate” and “sophisticated”. See,
many felt that Rihanna’s choice of dress was “inappropriate”. They feel that
she shouldn’t be parading her gorgeous body for all to see, because, as one
lady on Facebook put it, it makes her look “cheap” and it makes her
“uNondindwa”. For those of you who don’t know what the last word means,
basically, this lady thinks Rihanna deserves to be called a whore!
She went on to say it wasn’t a celebration of her sexuality
but that Rihanna was rather “spreading sexuality”, whatever this means. In my
mind, I interpreted this to mean Rihanna’s choice of dress may attract the
wrong kind of attention. That women who choose to dress up in a way that is
less than what society says is “appropriate”- I think “covered up” would be the
term- it makes them a target for rape.
I find this sort of view to be explicitly apologetic to the
worst kind of treatment for women. Remember the mini-skirt Noord Taxi rank
debacle where a young woman was ridiculed and told she deserved it because she
was purposely seeking the attention of men by wearing what she was comfortable
in?
I find it hard to reconcile the idea of other women being
critical of what others choose to wear to the extent of calling them “sluts” with
the idea of progressing feminism. I don’t see how this is any different to the
treatment of women by men, which makes feminism necessary to begin with.
Now, its one thing to think of Rihanna’s dress as ugly or
whatever it is you want to think of it, but how does it warrant her suddenly
being labelled a slut?
This is little more than slut-shaming disguised as some sort
of progressive view on how women should present themselves. Who gets to set the
standard? The many centuries of norms entrenched by patriarchy? Women who see
themselves as the guardians of what womanhood is? Whatever anyone may want to
say, the one thing we should not allow as a society- I certainly can’t let it
slide- is the labelling of other people according to a standard. Whose standard
is it anyway? It breeds discrimination and opens the floodgates for ridicule,
insults and the slut-shaming.
Being a young man, I know there are many women who have
misgivings with me entering into a debate about feminism and womanhood. Who are
you to be talking about this subject, I guess would be the question. You are
not a woman! Well, let me just say that I may not be a woman but I have women
in my life who are very dear to me and I can’t sit back and be seen as a
proponent for allowing a situation where they may be subject to ridicule
because of the choices they make. The question I have for the women who have
made it their business to insult other women in this manner is: where does it
stop? At what point do you draw the line to say men can’t call women whores,
bitches, sluts while at the same time you engage in the kind of behavior that
perpetrates this name calling? What makes you any different from those
proponents of patriarchy?
Some would say by saying Rihanna should be allowed to wear
whatever she wants one is condoning nudity. Far from it, but even if that was
the case, is the human body so vile that it must be covered up and people must
be made to feel shameful for their ideas of its beauty and what is flattering
to them?
We can’t hold people responsible for the failures of those
who lack respect and home training. If, as a man you find it impossible for you
to appreciate Rihanna’s beauty without losing your twinges of conscience, how
is that her fault? Be responsible for you own behaviour.
