Thursday, August 7, 2014

THE HILARIOUS MAIDS OF SOUTH AFRICA

Busisiwe wakes up in the wee hours everyday to catch the bus to town where she works as a domestic. These are the rules: she’s gotta be at the Smiths at 6am, wake the kids up and get them ready for school. She must pack their lunch tins and make sure that by the time Mrs. Smith is ready to jump in the car and take them kids to school, the kids are ready. On her first day at work, about a decade ago, Busisiwe was handed a uniform: blue tunic, black shoes. She has to tie her hair in a doek. Nobody wants her lice up in their shit. Go on cover that shit up, Busi.
Busi is uneducated. She dropped out of school while she was in Sub A because her father had died and her mother needed help in the home. As she grew older and had her own kids, helping out in the home was no longer enough. She too had to go and find a job and what else can she do except find a family in the ‘burbs to work for as a domestic?
The Smith kids find it funny that Busi’s ass protrudes through her blue tunic and why the hell does she have black skin like that? Her hair looks like that steel wool she uses to scrape the pots. It’s all just ugly!
Busi can’t discipline the Smith kids. Even when they make fun of her protruding ass and the fact that she can’t read she has to smile, keep her mouth shut and carry on with her work. Part of her job is to keep little Johny and Amy happy. If they want to laugh, she must act like the clown that she is to them and play along.
Busi hates the fact that she has to wear this stupid uniform and the fact that sometimes, when she is busy cleaning Johny wants to ride on her back and play cowboy while she plays the horse.
Even though she might want to protest: “Ndiyaqhelwa apha!” Busi knows that the madam will be on hand to reprimand her for not letting the kids be kids, even if it is at the cost of her dignity.
Busi is a peculiarity for little Johny and she provides much comic relief with her reactions whenever she sees something shocking on the TV, she makes this funny “Yhuuu” sound.

That Busi is goddamned funny. She’s a peculiarity. She’s not like mother Smith with her pretty hair that blows in the wind, her nicely toned body, pretty clothes, fair skin and that smell of expensive perfume. 
Busi, too, would love to be pretty and sometimes, as she cleans up after Mrs Smith, packing away the madam’s beauty kit and stuff Busi will look at herself in the mirror and take that doek off. She'd comb her hair and admire it’s kinky beauty. She will smear on Mrs Smith’s red lipstick and even put on the madam’s mascara. She’s even toyed with the idea of putting on one of Mrs Smith’s pretty cocktail dresses just to see how it would sit on her. But Busi knows her place and how dare she want to equate herself to Mrs Smith! She can never be as pretty. Not with that protruding ass. Not with that kinky afro, not with her thick ass lips and round nose fit to make her a hesitant clown.
She is so funny, she makes an excellent Halloween costume. Oh, wait! Let’s just have a party where we can all dress up as Busi. I bet it could be hilarious. 


Let’s see who can make the best impression of Busi. Don’t be shy. She really doesn’t mind it. Busi has long come to terms with the fact that she’s not beautiful, her big bum is funny and her face is ugly. We’re only just making fun of her and her unfortunate situation. If she takes offence, well, you know, she simply lacks a sense of humour.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well put

Vusi Ndzakana said...

Oh! POOR Busi!!

Silondile Jali said...

siyabonga for writing this!