RIHANNA'S CFDA AWARDS DRESS, SLUT-SHAMING AND FEMINISM

SOURCE: BILLBOARD.COM

It’s been a day well spent. Thanks to Rihanna and her revealing CFDA Awards dress I’ve spent the morning on various people’s social media timelines debating things like “appropriate” and “sophisticated”. See, many felt that Rihanna’s choice of dress was “inappropriate”. They feel that she shouldn’t be parading her gorgeous body for all to see, because, as one lady on Facebook put it, it makes her look “cheap” and it makes her “uNondindwa”. For those of you who don’t know what the last word means, basically, this lady thinks Rihanna deserves to be called a whore!

She went on to say it wasn’t a celebration of her sexuality but that Rihanna was rather “spreading sexuality”, whatever this means. In my mind, I interpreted this to mean Rihanna’s choice of dress may attract the wrong kind of attention. That women who choose to dress up in a way that is less than what society says is “appropriate”- I think “covered up” would be the term- it makes them a target for rape.

I find this sort of view to be explicitly apologetic to the worst kind of treatment for women. Remember the mini-skirt Noord Taxi rank debacle where a young woman was ridiculed and told she deserved it because she was purposely seeking the attention of men by wearing what she was comfortable in?

I find it hard to reconcile the idea of other women being critical of what others choose to wear to the extent of calling them “sluts” with the idea of progressing feminism. I don’t see how this is any different to the treatment of women by men, which makes feminism necessary to begin with.

Now, its one thing to think of Rihanna’s dress as ugly or whatever it is you want to think of it, but how does it warrant her suddenly being labelled a slut?

This is little more than slut-shaming disguised as some sort of progressive view on how women should present themselves. Who gets to set the standard? The many centuries of norms entrenched by patriarchy? Women who see themselves as the guardians of what womanhood is? Whatever anyone may want to say, the one thing we should not allow as a society- I certainly can’t let it slide- is the labelling of other people according to a standard. Whose standard is it anyway? It breeds discrimination and opens the floodgates for ridicule, insults and the slut-shaming.

Being a young man, I know there are many women who have misgivings with me entering into a debate about feminism and womanhood. Who are you to be talking about this subject, I guess would be the question. You are not a woman! Well, let me just say that I may not be a woman but I have women in my life who are very dear to me and I can’t sit back and be seen as a proponent for allowing a situation where they may be subject to ridicule because of the choices they make. The question I have for the women who have made it their business to insult other women in this manner is: where does it stop? At what point do you draw the line to say men can’t call women whores, bitches, sluts while at the same time you engage in the kind of behavior that perpetrates this name calling? What makes you any different from those proponents of patriarchy?

Some would say by saying Rihanna should be allowed to wear whatever she wants one is condoning nudity. Far from it, but even if that was the case, is the human body so vile that it must be covered up and people must be made to feel shameful for their ideas of its beauty and what is flattering to them?

We can’t hold people responsible for the failures of those who lack respect and home training. If, as a man you find it impossible for you to appreciate Rihanna’s beauty without losing your twinges of conscience, how is that her fault? Be responsible for you own behaviour.